my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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