Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
