So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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