I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
