they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
