I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
