Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Alive.
So much puke
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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