You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
