Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
