I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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