yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
