There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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