got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
