He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
last night I used snow as a chaser
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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