He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
