You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Boobs are out for the taking
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
