3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
