he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
