Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
