dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
two words...techno handjob
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
