God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
