i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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