I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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