No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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