ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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