He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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