Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
