I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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