I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
