like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
