Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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