hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
