If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
