All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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