I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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