That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
