i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
