There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
