too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
