Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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