so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
