whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
