"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
