I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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