I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize