tell your sister to shave her snatch
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
