I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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