Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
