Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
