So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
