wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
