im six kinds of drunk right now
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
