Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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