would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
