The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
