I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
