we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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