I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
