How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize