Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
