the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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