I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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