Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am full of burrito and curiosity
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
